Weave the Web

I understand a little bit more about what Nancy is talking about and what she discovered.  I think one of the rarest things about us four kids is that we may have had different relationships or different experiences and different memories, but there is one thing we are in total agreement about, and that is what a fabulous childhood we had.  It was the best.  “Awesome,” as Larry would say.  Not many families can say that and all be entirely in agreement with each other.

 

I always wondered why I didn’t have a close relationship with my Mom and when I became a young adult my goal in life was to become close to my children.  I feel that I have achieved that.  But listening to all the talk over the last few days, I realize something that has been a good feeling to me, kind of like Nancy’s epiphany was to her. And that is, so much of what I do with my kids and what has made me close to them I got from Mom.

 

She did the poems she did the creative things, and she did the scavenger hunts.  I don’t have special memories of having a heart to heart talk with her, but what I’m doing with my children originated from her and I never realized that.

 

I just wanted to talk about a few memories that Larry and I talked about on our trip out here.  When Larry and I were in elementary school, we came home every day for lunch.  Mom always made my favorite spaghetti O’s which Larry got so fed up with.  She was very eager to please.  When she found out you liked something, boy did you get a lot of that.
 

Picnics at Hugenot and fireworks at Shenerock:  Here it is the 4th of July, and we can look back on fabulous firework shows at a beautiful country club.  We had many special traditions and holiday dinners.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Playing in the sand with granddaughter, Olivia

 

 

 

Again, talking about her creativeness:  for my first anniversary, she made a scrapbook.  I had a fabulous wedding, and it’s a cherished memory.  So Mom made a scrapbook and on the pages of the scrapbook were the bills!  It was broken down as to how many scotches, how many gins, how much champagne, and there was a poem about “what a good time we had//but then came the bills and Oh poor Dad!” 

 

Then one other thing I wanted to say.  I think it’s been nice that we learned things.  I didn’t know Mom dated a West Point cadet, for instance.  I think it was Aunt Nancy who said that.  I wouldn’t say this is a bad memory, but one time I got really mad at Mom.  She didn’t get to marry a West Point Cadet, so it was her dream for her child to because she sent my picture to West Point where it was put in a file and the cadets came by to browse through and say, “Oh, she’s not bad, I think I’ll give her a call.”  I didn’t know she had done this, and I got a call from one.  When I found out, I said, “Mom, how could you do this? It’s like selling me!”  She said, “Oh no – Just go, and it will be fun.”  I never went, and I think it was a disappointment for her.

 

[Nancy:  “How come she didn’t send our pictures, Carol?”

Loren:  “Maybe she did, and you didn’t get any calls!”]

 

Larry and I weren’t sure if we would come out after Mom died, but when we decided to come a light bulb went off saying, “Of course!”  I learned a lot of things about Mom, and most importantly, I learned how much she loved us, and how much I loved her.