What's it all for?

by Dave Hickman - December 2018

The words of this question flowed out, riding the tears that bore them, from deep within Mel’s heart. Her hands gripped the wheel of the truck as we crested highway 120 and began the descent into Yosemite Valley during our spring break of 2018. Her eyes were locked on mine rather than the majestic scenery that rose before us. This was a sure sign that something powerful was in the air.

“We pledged adventure in our vows,” we both observed, and we realized together in that moment how little of it we had experienced in recent years. How had we let this happen? What did actually happen? The river of emotion carried us to an island of reflection, and we pondered the recent past. Taking stock, we realized that in the years from 2011-2018, we had devoted ourselves to our careers with ever increasing commitment.

In 2011, I made the decision to embark on a five year goal to leave teaching 4th grade and become a division head. I wanted the challenge, the change, and the increased income that would allow us to develop a retirement plan. I applied to graduate school, enrolled and earned a master’s degree, and changed my role three times to teach middle school, direct high school placement, serve as the first ever director of student life, and ultimately become the division head in 2015. I spent the first three years learning that job and working crazy hours for the school I love and the career that has been my vocation. Mel joined the teaching staff of the public school next door to our home in 2013 and had spent the intervening five years learning her new role and new community, grading papers on the couch at night. We both worked weekends regularly.

Burnout was simmering underneath. We realized that our careers were established, we were doing well and had learned the ropes. But where were we heading? We needed a new direction and a new mission.

In the four days spent in Yosemite Valley, we found ourselves steering our hikes to go through the campgrounds and parking lots to check out the increasingly popular camper vans parked around every corner. We saw Winnebagoes, Roadtreks, Airstreams, Hymers, Sprinters, and more. Mel occasionally walked up to owners to chat them up. We found ourselves checking the prices and evaluating the options. We even found a van with a bizarre, sweater-wearing cat who seemed to be exhorting us to take the plunge. Would such a choice bring us a new direction with new dimensions of adventure? Could we afford it? Could we afford not to do it?

A week later we were actively shopping for a converted van with RV amenities. We started thinking of it as a detachable part of our home we could take anywhere. We live in a very small condo, so we could afford a bit more and we thought of it as having some “extra house” we could take with us anywhere. We started nicknaming the van we did not yet own - the “Escape Pod” and the “Adventure Pod” were high on the list. We traveled to RV dealerships, followed used RV’s online, crunched numbers, explored possible destinations, and even test drove a few. We knew what we wanted and what we hoped to pay; now we just had to find it! All the while, it became apparent that the adventure had already begun. Anticipating the excitement of change is always the best prologue.

By the end of April, we found the perfect fit at a dealership in Oregon. Coincidentally, I had to be in Oregon to take my 8th graders on a rafting trip. The momentum of our van goal was not to be stopped, however, so Mel flew up to Oregon with a check, got the tour of the vehicle, did the paperwork, and embarked on the 650 mile trip home. She stayed overnight in Castle Crags State Park in northern California, making her first pot of tea in the van and sitting in a camping chair watching a May sunset. She sent me pictures I viewed on the plane trip back home, and she already had a name for the van in mind.

Driving home through Oregon, Mel found herself thinking about the adventurous Charlotte Hickman, one of the inaugural female ministers of the Methodist church and Loren’s aunt. Charlotte had lived in Smith River, Oregon, and worked with Native American tribes in the early 1900’s to archive their stories, legends, and culture that had been disrupted by a half-century of manifest destiny and its ethic of white cultural supremacy. Charlotte was truly a pioneer of deep adventure. Her journals, and the collected sketches, stories, and drawings from the

Charlotte Hickman - Then

Lottie Hickman - Now

tribal historians, were passed on to Loren with the hope he might do something with them. Loren had just recently completed putting them together into a book and was meeting with the current tribal leadership council to share back that which was theirs.

This powerful story was high of mind for both Mel and me, so when Mel suggested we name the van “Lottie,” there was instant affirmation and excitement.

Mel arrived home 30 minutes before me, so when I finally pulled into the driveway, there was Lottie, already holding Mel inside as she cleaned and stocked and puttered preparing our escape pod, our adventure van, for our next chapter together. We slept in Lottie that night, and began the process of learning her ways and how she might take us to new places and new experiences.

Since Lottie’s birthday, May 5th 2018, we have traveled to over 20 different campgrounds and locations across four states and spent 46 nights sleeping under her roof. We’ve built a trailer to carry kayaks, bikes, firewood, and gear. We’ve kayaked on ten different lakes, visited remote beaches, watched seals play in the surf, listened to owls at night, sat in front of many fires, and reformed a new and wonderful relationship with my brother and his wife Abigail, who are on a similar journey. Our dogs, Lexi and Zeke, have been our constant traveling companions throughout. This summer, we’ll head for Montana, Wyoming, Canada, Washington, and Oregon.

The dominoes continue to fall. From podcasts, books, and discussions, we continue to learn about financial independence, healthy nutrition, exercise, minimalism, decluttering, and finding what we most value. We’ve made new financial choices, changed our spending, and are practicing the life skill of determining what we most value and pursuing it with love, care, and energy.

All of this flowed from Mel posing the question, “What’s it all for?”

The journey is the answer.